15 Step Program

You may or may not know that Tim & I thinking of trying to start a family later on this year. I was sent this 15 step program advice from Erin - I think I'll start tomorrow:

Thinking of having kids? Do this 15-Step Program first!

Lesson 1 -

*Go to the grocery store.

*Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

*Go home. *Pick up the paper. *Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2 - Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

*Methods of discipline.

*Lack of patience.

*Appallingly low tolerance levels.

*Allowing their children to run wild.

*Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training,table manners, and overall behavior.

*Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3 - A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

*Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound)playing loudly.

*Eat cold food with one hand for dinner.

*At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

*Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

*Set the alarm for 3AM.

*As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

*Go to bed at 2:45AM.

*Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

*Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

*Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive).

*Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4 - Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...

*Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

*Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

*Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

*Then rub them on the clean walls.

*Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

*Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5 - Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

*Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

*Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that noneof the arms hang out.

*Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6 -

*Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it into an alligator.

*Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle.

*Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica ofthe Eiffel Tower.

Lesson 7 - Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

*Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.

*Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

*Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

*Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 8 -

*Get ready to go out.

*Sit on the floor of your bathroom reading picture books for half an hour.

*Go out the front door.

*Come in again. Go out.

*Come back in.

*Go out again.

*Walk down the front path.

*Walk back up it.

*Walk down it again.

*Walk very slowly down the sidewalk for five minutes.

*Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.

*Retrace your steps.

*Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you.

*Give up and go back into the house.

*You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 9 - Repeat everything you have learned at least (if not more than) five times.

Lesson 10 -

*Go to the local grocery store.

*Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice).

*If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat.

*Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.

*Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

*Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 11 -

*Hollow out a melon.

*Make a small hole in the side.

*Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

*Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

*Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

*Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

*You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 12 -

*Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon.

*Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years.

*I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?

*Exactly the point.

Lesson 13 -

*Move to the tropics.

*Find or make a compost pile.

*Dig down about halfway and stick your nose in it.

*Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two years.

Lesson 14 -

*Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required).

*Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years.

*You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 15 -

*Start talking to an adult of your choice.

*Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem,shirt-sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 14 above.

*You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

I have....

no excuse. I just haven't really had any 'hot topics' to blog about this past week. And I can't really even think of anything tonight. Had a great weekend with lots of relaxing, productivity, (which included planting flowers, but didn't include scrapping - I tried...but it didn't happen). I have no pictures to show for the weekend & tonight I'm super tired. See - aren't you glad you're reading this blog?

I will try to be better.....next week.

I have a certain blog-stalker extordinaire to celebrate this weekend - I'll for sure be back with pictures from that adventure (she's turning 30).

Until then, I may be on a break...unless I can think of something exciting to post in the next few days. Don't give up on me - stranger things have happened! :)

Okay...

Here it is people: I'm going to eat better & go to the gym. Here's my deal: I've planned 5 healthy & delicious dinners for this week & we will cook them. No going out until Friday night. Friday night I will eat fish & veggies. No soda, no ice cream, no going to Starbucks more than once a day. AND, I have also made it a goal this week to go to the gym 3 times. I went tonight - so that's one.

Why the sudden change? Well, there may or may not have been an incident last week with someone's pants being too tight (and they shouldn't be) & (no, I'm not pregnant). So, this someone has decided to start being a little more conscious of meal planning & going to the gym. This person likes being at the gym once he/she is there - but the getting there has been tough lately. So, this person is putting it on her blog so that those of you who are still reading it can ask her about it & she will have to tell you the truth about how her plan is going.

Carrots will now be my friends. Not chocolate. How sad.

I'm off to bed. Hopefully when I'm sleeping I won't notice my tummy is growling... :)

Happy Day!

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!! We will be celebrating at school all day tomorrow. It's a big day when you're 8....or 30.

Tonight our lovely friends Ben & Amanda Pants came over for an early Valentine's dinner. The boys cooked while the girls sat back, drank wine, & chatted. It was super fun. And my the dinner they cooked - it was fantastic!!! Thank you to my wonderful husband for spoiling me, yet again.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

No Time...

No time to post. Too busy commenting on 'other people's' blogs. Apparently I'm a little too comfortable with my Google reader now & I don't go into the actual blog to comment. I thought this was okay, until I was threatened. Don't worry, I have my private investigator on it. Everything will be fine in a few days...

More Scrappin'

Look! I'm early! This week's prompt was issued by my good friend Kristi. Her challenge was 'for the love of friendship'. What does friendship mean to you? Who do you turn to with the good & the bad? Who do you confide in? Here's my take on her challenge:

Front:

Back:

And also catching up with the Paper '08 challenge. The prompt from 2 weeks ago was to journal one day in your life. A time capsule for 'today'. I chose to do this past Sunday. Here's my page:

52 Card Scrap-Up & More...

This past week while Andrea was here, we embarked on a new adventure - transforming the dining room into scrapbook land. With Tim's permission, I have mostly moved from the office into the dining room with my treasures. Yes, I still occupy the small space in the office, but scrapping is going to take place in the other room - so I can spread out more. Andrea helped me pick out some baskets for the bookcase & we re-arranged it to hold most of my things. Here's what it looks like now:

Andrea's prompt from last week was 'struggle'. After a very difficult week for her & her family, she wanted to know what we were struggling with. Mine is a little lame, but I truly do struggle with it - I need to be better about making time for the gym.

Front:

Back:

Catching Up...

I'm returning to blogger land after a fun filled week with My Andrea & E. Last weekend (Jan. 26-27) my parents came to visit & stayed one day with us for my dad's birthday day. We were happy to see them (it had been several months) & enjoyed our short visit with them.

The next day, Matt, Andrea, & Ethan arrived at our door. On Monday (last week) we had a snow day - what great timing, no? So we played & played. That day Matt & Tim both left for business for the week - so Andrea EE & I had the place to ourselves. We spent our time scrapping, reading magazines, relaxing, baking cookies, playing with Ethan, eating delicious food, going to Starbucks at least once a day, & non-stop talking. One night we were up until past midnight just chatting. So fun. On Friday, all boys returned from their separate adventures.

Andrea & I declared Saturday girls day out. We went up to Portland & hit the mall, the bagel shop, Whole Foods, & of course Starbucks. It was a wonderful day of just 'us'. That evening after dinner with our beloved boys, we went to see this. We both liked it a lot & felt adventuresome that it was 'a late movie', (meaning we left the house after 9:00 pm).

Yesterday was church & a Superbowl Party. Basically a lot of yummy food, Ben & Amanda thrown into the mix, & lots of girlie scrapbooking again. I was able to catch up on 52 Card Scrap-Up & the Paper '08 Challenge. I'll post those pics later. We had a wonderful time just hanging out & talking...some more.

While Andrea was here - we found this fabric that I'd been looking for on clearance at Craft Warehouse. So...I bought it & she made me a purse from it. I L.O.V.E. it!!! The inside pockets are a lime green paisley pattern that matches. SO FUN!

Here are photos from some of our adventures from the week.

The new purse & fun drinks from places we'd been that day...

Homemade cinnamon rolls for Sunday morning - yumm, yumm! (Yes, I helped too).

My Andrea & E

Take #5 of scrappy madness on the dining room table this week...

Thank you Matt, Andrea, & Ethan for coming. We so enjoyed having you stay in our home for the week. Come back again soon! We miss you...